well you can't waste a boner
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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