he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I use my feet as sexual weapons
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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