I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
