It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
