if i can run in heels then i can drive
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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