Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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