please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
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Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
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So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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