Already got asked if we're dating
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize