yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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