Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize