she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
