Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i jhust puked up my retainher.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
