More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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