I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
even my farts smell like vagina
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
