Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
COCAINE IS GR8
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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