Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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