I love black thongs
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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