I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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