i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
