we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
