Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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