Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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