1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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