Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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