Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
