Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Drunk is a universal language darling
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
