Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
