And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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