i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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