i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
