I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
