my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
