Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
