I love black thongs
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
