i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
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a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
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Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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