i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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