There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
