I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
