you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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