It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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