I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
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A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
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I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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