i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
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No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
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Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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