bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
