He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize