I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
