I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You can't motorboat a personality
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
