let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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