youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
