so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
