She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
