we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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