Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
