i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize