I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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