told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
being pregnant is like rehab
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
