i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
