Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
